Cheers and Jeers: Tuesday

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Cheers and Jeers for Tuesday, October 20, 2020

Notice: The Division of Corrections referred to as about you yesterday. Apparently you’ve got been dangling modifiers once more. In all probability a good suggestion to put low within the secure home for some time.

By the Numbers:

LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA - OCTOBER 05: Voter Cody Crump places his ballot in a mail-in ballot drop box outside of a library ahead of Election Day on October 5, 2020 in Los Angeles, California. Early voting has begun in California with Los Angeles County posting 400 secure vote-by-mail drop boxes across the county. (Photo by Mario Tama/Getty Images)
Voting ends in 2 weeks!!!

Weeks ’til voting ends within the 2020 election: 2

% probability that Trump will fulfill his promise of getting a covid vaccine prepared by election day: 0%

% of People polled by AP-NORC who say that Biden’s election and Trump’s reelection, respectively, would result in extra unity within the nation: 44%, 18%

Variety of accomplice statues or different symbols that had been eliminated within the 5 years earlier than George Floyd’s homicide by police, in response to the Southern Poverty Regulation Heart: 142

Minimal variety of accomplice statues or different symbols eliminated within the 5 months since Floyd’s homicide: 100

Drop in first-year enrollment at four-year faculties and group faculties, respectively: 16%, 23%

Variety of states during which the coronavirus numbers are transferring in the precise path: 2 (MO and VT)

Pet Pic of the Day: First responder…

CHEERS to rubbing your palms collectively and—bwoo ha ha—hatching a scheme. That is what CNN says Democrats are doing to counter any untimely Republican claims of victory on election night time. It is nonetheless a piece in progress, as all Democratic anythings are, however at least they’re not sitting on their hands:

The Biden marketing campaign and congressional Democrats are strategizing collectively to wage a post-election response to Trump on two fronts—anticipating each a authorized problem and a messaging conflict—as Trump’s assaults on the election have solely intensified whereas he is lagging within the polls two weeks forward of Election Day, with voting already underway. Outdoors teams are additionally mobilizing to attempt to blunt any efforts to dispute the vote depend after November 3. […]

havahart-animal-traps-1079-64_1000.jpg
Among the many Democratic concepts for stopping Republican “ballot watchers” from harassing voters at polling locations: these.

A Biden marketing campaign official advised CNN the marketing campaign is coordinating with Democrats on Capitol Hill and voting rights teams with messaging round Trump’s assaults on the integrity of the election. The marketing campaign has additionally spoken with social media firms about combating misinformation and concerning the reporting of election outcomes, the official stated.

“Donald Trump can bluster and lie all he needs, however we’re assured that this election shall be determined pretty, and we have constructed the most important voter safety program in historical past to arrange for any contingency and battle again in opposition to any try by Trump to intervene with the democratic course of,” stated Biden marketing campaign spokesman Mike Gwin.

Should you want any assist, guys, I’ve a plan: kick ’em within the shins.

JEERS to essentially the most boring version of Level/Counterpoint ever. I am going to wake you up when it is over:

President Trump: If he’s elected, Joe Biden will take heed to the scientists!

Joe Biden: Sure.

This has been essentially the most boring version of Level/Counterpoint ever. Get up.

CHEERS to 86 first rate years—and 4 that basically sucked. Herbert Hoover received some firm lately within the type of a sure “W” Bush and Donald Trump, who now be part of him on the brief checklist of worst presidents ever. However Hoover was fairly the humanitarian earlier than his disastrous (and, boy howdy, can we imply disastrous) one time period as president…and he was fairly the competent humanitarian for 30 years after.  However his time ran out when he kicked the bucket on this date in 1964 on the age of 90.  Oh, and talking of talking of #31 and #43 and #45 in the identical breath, there really had been individuals who roamed the planet named Donald W. Hoover.  Poor souls.

BRIEF SANITY BREAK

END BRIEF SANITY BREAK

JEERS to placing your refrigerator-size thumb on the dimensions. In line with Neil deGrasse Tyson, an asteroid may hit the earth the day earlier than voting ends within the 2020 election. It seems one thing like this:

asteroid.jpg

While you get up on November 3rd, anticipate to see carnage, chaos, continuous media hysteria, and folks operating round with their hair on hearth. And if the asteroid hits, it is likely to be even worse.

P.S. Since earth remains to be intact at present (until Trump ordered nuke strikes in a single day), be sure you catch at present’s pleasure on the asteroid Bennu, the place at 5pm ET the Osiris-REx probe will get decimated by the New England Patriots in a blowout broadcast live on NASA TV. The Tremendous Bowl stays in attain.

CHEERS to the Birthday Bab.  In the present day is Birth of the Bab day, honoring the founding father of the Babi faith, forerunner to Baha’u’llah and the Baha’i religion.  In line with custom, no work is to be performed on today. Nice…now they inform me, after I’ve spent the final hour tying my work yakskins on.

Ten years in the past in C&J: October 20, 2010

CHEERS to “Specialist Choi.”  Yesterday U.S. District Decide Virginia Phillips rejected a keep requested by the Pentagon, thus giving the inexperienced mild for openly-gay People to enlist within the army for the primary time with out having to hide their sexual orientation. One of the first in line was Lt. Dan Choi, who received kicked out of the Military in June beneath ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Inform.’  When he was completed on the Instances Sq. recruiting workplace, he advised reporters that the Military’s brush with gayness didn’t destroy the establishment: “They didn’t disintegrate in there.  Unit cohesion is doing simply high quality.”  What a—[Yawn]—shock.

And only one extra…

CHEERS to foresight.  Are you able to think about having the ability to return 35 years and gobble up the very first web domains like a child in a sweet retailer, after which flip round and promote ‘em for a gazillion bucks to their “rightful” firms? Bear in mind these days?  These were the first URLs again then:

Rank       Create date      Area identify

1. 15-Mar-1985   SYMBOLICS.COM

NIANTIC, CT - MAY 24:  A prison inmate makes one of her daily allotment of six phone calls at the York Community Reintegration Center on May 24, 2016 in Niantic, Connecticut. The center is part of the York Correctional Institution, which houses all of the state's more than 1,000 female inmates. The unit is designed to prepare prisoners for successful reintegration into society after serving out their sentences. Criminal justice and prison reforms are taking hold with bi-partisan support nationwide in an effort to reduce prison populations, while saving taxpayer money. The state's criminal justice reforms are part of Connecticut Governor Dannel Malloy's 'Second Chance Society' legislation.   (Photo by John Moore/Getty Images)
However I did get $25 for www.thefutureisinpayphones.com 

2. 24-Apr-1985    BBN.COM

3. 24-Might-1985   THINK.COM

4. 11-Jul-1985      MCC.COM

5. 30-Sep-1985    DEC.COM

6. 07-Nov-1985    NORTHROP.COM

7. 09-Jan-1986      XEROX.COM

8. 17-Jan-1986      SRI.COM

9. 03-Mar-1986    HP.COM

10. 05-Mar-1986    BELLCORE.COM

However no. We waited too lengthy and needed to resort to Plan B for getting forward in life: robbing banks. In hindsight, a poor profession transfer. Sincerely, Inmate #321775439974.

Have a tolerable Tuesday. Flooring’s open…What are you cheering and jeering about at present?

In the present day’s Shameless C&J Testimonial

Invoice Maher says Democrats ought to make Invoice in Portland Maine’s Cheers and Jeers a problem as a result of “being nuts is related”

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